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Stanley Leisure Centre By Alison
Inglis I’m sure your readers
will agree that it is time a campaign was started to halt recent
developments at the Leisure Centre. Enough
is enough. I mean, some
improvements are all very well – like stocking the drinks machine with
mineral water and supporting Waistaways by switching off the chocolate
dispenser – but some of the innovations in exercise are outrageous.
I wonder whether Messrs Diggle and Elsby have some dastardly plan
afoot to enrol the Leisure Centre staff in the job of getting Stanley
residents fit – preventative healthcare, I think its called.
Its an insult to closet couch potatoes like myself. Once upon a time the
swimming pool was my sanctuary, a haven where I could dream the hours away
while floating peacefully. Of
course, occasionally I had to share the pool with the swimming club but
their fitness levels seemed so far removed from mine that it was like
watching a sports event on television. But then some
machievellian type had the idea of filling the pool with children by
charging them only 10 pence admission.
Have you ever tried floating peacefully in a busy pool?
I was so glad when the pool temperature dropped and I had the pool
to myself again. Unfortunately
the staff have solved that problem and the temperature is back to normal.
Even worse, as an inducement to use the pool a new rate of £1 for
a half hour swim has been introduced.
Of course, I’m as happy to save money as any Scot, but do they
have to encourage other swimmers? Personally I find the
adults hour over lunch ideal. Why
can’t they encourage other swimmers to attend all the specialist
sessions instead – ladies, mens, older persons, parents and toddlers.
Or even the 7am sessions – which I can never tumble out of bed
for, although a friend tells me that it takes no longer than having a bath
at home. The problem is, the staff are so proactive. The lifeguards have given me tips on how to improve my swimming, and even suggested I attend Sarah Allan’s swimming lessons. Do I look like someone who wants to learn to swim? I’m quite happy doggy-paddling, thank you. Sarah Gilding is very
funny: she tried to convince me that exercise is more fun if you do it in
water. With other people.
To music. Apparently
you don’t get so hot and sticky. Its
called aquarobics. She also
does a special class for expectant and new Mums called aquanatal – not
relevant for me, of course, children would be far too exhausting.
And although aquarobics sounds quite fun, if I wanted to exercise
to music I’d use those funny gym machines, especially as they have quite
a good sound system on which I could play my own heavy metal tapes. Which reminds me, have you
any idea how horrible it is for an unfit person like me to be confronted
by a fitness freak (well, they looked normal, but you never can tell) on a
running machine in that empty space in the corridor outside the changing
rooms. Apparently management
have had to put the machine there, pending an improvement to the exercise
area, because they have bought more and better gym machines.
What an odd thing to waste money on, although they seem very
popular. Of course, I’ve always
known that the dry side of the Leisure Centre is inhabited by fit types,
but I have no problem with that. Squash,
badminton, short tennis are all for people who know what they’re doing.
Well, that was my excuse and I was happy sticking to it.
But now Steve Dent’s started classes in racket sports especially
for beginners like me. I had
no problem with his daytime classes for older members of the community,
and for women at home during the day – the creche seems a great idea –
but its going a bit too far if they expect to involve busy people.
That’s what I said, I’m too busy, but then they pointed out
that there are two classes a week. Not that I’m getting
paranoid about this exercise thing you understand.
But they seem to have suborned my husband.
He tells me that if I’m to continue enjoying an excellent lunch
with him at the Brasserie each Saturday I must work for it.
So I said I’d attend Tina Desloges’ aerobics classes in the gym
only if he does too. So he
smugly tells me that he’s busy each Saturday morning when the class is
on. So I point out that we are
both free for her evening class. Oh,
no, what have I done?! So please, someone, help me. Something’s got to be done to stop this exercise craze. Its getting out of hand, what with dinghy-sailers, canoeists, ramblers, running club races, football matches, and now new cricket and rugby clubs. I thought I could cope with carpet bowls, but apparently that takes skill, effort and commitment too. Does anyone have a Mars bar to hand? Confessions of the Unfit: having abandoned aerobics classes, Alison is now frequently to be found at the Leisure Centre attending aquaerobics classes and loitering in the fitness room and swimming pool - she celebrated learning how to use the controls on the fitness machines with a large triple choc muffin
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